Thursday, October 28, 2010


As most of you know, but for those of you who don't, my dad passed away on February 18, 2010.  Everyone keeps telling me that it gets easier but it's still really hard on me.  I miss him so much!!!  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't want to talk to him.  I was use to talking to him 2-3 times a day.  I am so happy that he is not suffering anymore but I wish he would have had a little more time here.  He was in so much pain with his back and his legs, from the LEMS, Lambert–Eaton myasthenic syndrome.  He got really sick on January 17, the day we had to put my baby (dog) Prettydurl down for congestive heart failure, and we didn't think he was going to make it through the night.  Chad and I went to Amarillo and I stayed for about a month.  My dad was in the hospital and a physical rehab hospital the whole time but he got to feeling better and we got to spend quality time together.  When I left and gave him that last hug I started to cry and I will never forget what he said "Don't cry squirrel!!  I'm going to get better and come to your house and we're going to cook something good"  He loved to cook!!!  I had a pretty good feeling that, that hug was going to be the last one and let me tell you that was the hardest thing I ever had to do.  My dad and I were notorious for wanting to get the last hug or "I love you" in.  That was something we had done since I was a little girl.  I am so THANKFUL that I was able to go and spend a month with my dad before he passed away.  I love and miss him very much!!!  So if you are reading this right now be sure to tell your loved ones that you love them because you never know when you may not be able to tell them anymore.


  1. When i was going for surgery in Philadelphia, we thought it would be fine, but there was a chance the stent wouldn't work and i'd stay there for a week and undergo massive surgery. Tori rode to the airport with me. When mom and i got out of the car, it was sooo hard to let Tori go. i didn't know if that would be it the last time we ever say each other. And i didn't want to cry because i didn't want her to be worrying about me- not her job.
    The whole time i had the anuerysm and was facing surgery, the only thing i was frightened/angry about was the thought of that 11 yr old girl growing up without a dad. she didn't deserve that kind of pain so early in her life. that tore me apart. fortunately, i've gotten to be here another couple of years. I just pray i get to be there long enough for her to "grow up", maybe walk her down the aisle someday.


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